Kiwi English- lesson one

Rule 1: single vowel sounds almost never occur in Kiwi. Rather, a written vowel is pronounced as a random mixture of no fewer than two vowels, which may exclude any sound normally identified as belonging to the letter as written. 

Rule 1a (pronounced "wahn eeeih"): a vowel cavalcade has the right of way over any adjoining consonants

Example: in the photos at left, a girl and a gull are pictured. In Kiwi, the former is pronounced as "gieuhl" and the latter as "goeuhl"-- as in: "Tell the gieuhl not to feed scroggins to the goeuhl" (scroggins will be covered in a later lesson). In both cases, the "L" sound at the end is strictly optional.